Heart Attack Grill, Chandler, AZ

Over the past 7 months, if my eating habits could be summed up in one word, what do you think that word would be?

Meat.

For whatever reason, wherever I went, my hosts filled me with all varieties of steaks, ribs, roasts, chops, burgers, shanks, slanks, and slonks. Now, I'm not complaining at all; the hospitality I've received on this trip has been incredible. But still -- lots of meat.

It seems fitting then, that I should top off my road trip with a visit to the Heart Attack Grill, located in beautiful Chandler, AZ. The Heart Attack Grill has four burgers on its menu: the Single Bypass Burger, the Double Bypass Burger, the Triple Bypass Burger, and ... you guessed it, the Quadruple Bypass Burger. The Quadruple Bypass contains 4 one-half pound patties, 4 slices of American cheese, and a bun that has been dipped in lard, for a grand total of 8000 calories. Mmmm, look at that glistening bun:

When I moved to Arizona, I told myself that I would not leave the state until I accomplished four things: climb Humphreys Peak (check), visit the Grand Canyon (check), visit the Titan Missile Museum (check), and eat a Quadruple Bypass Burger. So, here goes...

To share in the experience, I brought along my Crazy Russian Ex-Roommate, Victor. He went for the Double Bypass. When I ordered the Quadruple Bypass, the waitress gave me a skeptical look and said, "Well, good luck with that." Apparently I looked too skinny. Of course, that only served to strengthen my resolve.

I won't go into the gory details, but I'll just say that eating that burger was probably the most disgusting thing I have ever done. On the other hand, it was also immensely gratifying. Check out my look of simultaneous pride and shame:

I think Victor put it best when he shook his head and sighed, "Only in America..."

In any case, I did it. I proved the waitress wrong, and I didn't have to eat again for a couple days. Booya!